10 Things I Probably Say Too Often (in my classroom)

  1. “That sound you hear?  That’s the sound of grades plummeting.”
  2. “How can you raise your grade?  Build yourself a Time Machine, go back in time, and slap the hell out of yourself for not turning in your work.”
  3. “Writing does not require the use of your mouth.”
  4. “Focus, young padawan.”
  5. “When I said ‘Times New Roman 12 point font,’ I did not in fact mean ‘Comic Sans 20 point.'”
  6. “I am arresting you for crimes against grammar.”
  7. “You do understand what teacher means, right?  I’m not just standing here for fun.”
  8. English does not mean reading.  There’s more than one skill I must teach you.”
  9. “Yes, you are writing an essay.  Welcome to high school.”
  10. “… yeeeeah. No.”

About Michael Johnston

Father of a fifth grader, high school English teacher, writer. Forty-six years old and feeling almost every bit of it on some days, and not a bit of it on others. Based in Sacramento, California, USA
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2 Responses to 10 Things I Probably Say Too Often (in my classroom)

  1. Labs says:

    I had to print this one out and share it with some of my District Office co-workers. Awesome! My favorite is #2, though #3 is a close runner up.

  2. BTW, where are you guys? I tried contacting Jim via email but never heard back.

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